One thing I’m continually working on is managing the volume of the inner critic in my head.

Mine can sound a little like the Sesame Street peanut gallery. Lots of commentary. Lots of opinions. Lots of “You should…”

I used to think this was a character flaw.

Now I understand that our brains are wired to look for what’s wrong.

It’s part of how we survived. Our ancestors needed to notice the poisonous berries, the approaching predator, the thing that might kill them.

The problem is, our brains still do this.

We may not need to worry about poisonous berries anymore, but our brains are still scanning for what’s wrong, what needs fixing, what we should have done differently.

And the more we practice a particular way of thinking, the easier it becomes to fall into that thought pattern.

This is why changing our thinking (and habits) can be so hard.

We don’t have to believe every thought that pops into our heads.

But first, we have to notice the thought.

That sounds simple.

It is.

And it’s also powerful.

Because noticing creates a little space between you and the thought.

And in that space, you have a choice.

I had a small example of this recently.

I was sitting outside when I noticed myself looking at the weeds in my yard.

Ugh. I really should pull those weeds before all the rain starts again.

Then I caught myself.

Oh. I’m focusing on what’s wrong.

So I stopped.

I turned my head toward my Hot Lips plant.

And at that exact moment, a hummingbird appeared.

Three feet away.

It hovered over the flowers, completely absorbed in what it was doing.

And I smiled.

The weeds were still there.

But for a moment, I wasn’t thinking about them.

That’s the thing about our thoughts:

We don’t always have to change them.

Sometimes we just need to notice them.

So try this the next time you catch yourself in a familiar negative thought pattern:

Pause.
Notice.
Ask yourself: “Is this where I want to put my attention?”

You might still decide to pull the weeds.

But you might also notice something beautiful that you would have missed.

Your brain will always look for the weeds. You get to decide whether you stop there.