I became interested in the topic of “executive presence” because several clients wanted to develop it, and at first I wasn’t entirely sure how to help. But over time I noticed a pattern — and a relatively simple way to address it.

Across clients, industries and job titles, the issue was rarely a lack of competence. These were bright, experienced, capable people. The problem was that the moment they had to speak to executives or senior leaders, fear took over. Instead of focusing on the purpose of the conversation, they became consumed with what other people might think about them.

And that fear short-circuited their brains.

I mean that literally. Under threat, the amygdala takes over and pushes us into fight, flight or freeze mode — automatic survival responses developed through evolution. In that state, we lose access to the parts of the brain responsible for rational thought, communication and decision making.

We evolved to respond to threats in the environment. What once triggered that response — a saber-toothed tiger in the jungle — has evolved into leaders around a conference table staring at us during a presentation. Or 400 faces on Zoom.

For most people, jobs are tied to survival. They provide food, shelter and security. Work is also often tied to identity and ego. No one wants to look incompetent or foolish, so performing in front of people with more power and authority understandably activates fear.

From an evolutionary perspective, it makes complete sense that we worry about what other people think.

It’s normal.

It’s just not helpful.

The irony of executive presence is that it’s largely an inside job. Yes, appearance and communication style matter, but real presence comes from your ability to regulate your emotions and stay grounded in the moment. When you are focused on the issue at hand instead of managing how you think you are being perceived, you think more clearly, communicate more effectively and project confidence naturally.

There is an easier-than-you-think fix: take the focus off yourself.

Stop spending energy trying to predict what other people think about you. First, because you don’t actually know. We are surprisingly bad at mind-reading.

Instead, focus on your audience. What are their pain points, priorities or pressures? What principles drive them? How might your proposal, idea or recommendation affect them? Will it help them solve a problem, reduce risk or make progress?

Shift your attention outward.

If you are presenting, think about who benefits from the information you are sharing. If you are in a discussion, stay curious instead of self-conscious. Focusing on helping others interrupts the cycle of ego and fear that pulls us out of the moment.

At its core, executive presence is less about performing and more about regulating. It’s the ability to stay connected to yourself when your nervous system wants to disconnect. The more you shift your attention away from protecting your ego and toward serving the people, problem or purpose in front of you, the more grounded, clear and credible you become. Presence isn’t something you “put on.” It’s what emerges when fear stops driving.