Everyone’s trying to optimize something — but have you ever checked whether it’s the right thing for you?

 

I hear a lot of people say they want to optimize. And honestly, the coaching industry is built on that promise — helping people “live to their highest potential” or “create their best life.”

 

But here’s the funny part: I recently realized I’ve organized my entire life around getting enough sleep. Truly. I’m not the person who makes a to-do list and thinks, “I’ll sleep when this is done.”

 

Nope. My brain says, “What can I get done without giving up sleep?”

 

And what actually happens is… I don’t do anything that keeps me out past 8:00 p.m. I thought I was optimizing for sleep, but the truth is simpler: I’m optimizing for performance. If I don’t sleep, I don’t function. And once I named that, a bigger question emerged:
What are you optimizing for — and does it serve you?

 

This question came up recently:
1. The Refrigerator Incident.
I visited my sister for a month and “helpfully” reorganized her fridge. I was optimizing for space and visibility. She, it turns out, optimizes for never running out of anything.
Same fridge. Different values. Very different outcomes.

 

2. The Layoff Ripples.
With all the recent layoffs, I’m hearing from people who are left behind to “do more with less.” And it makes me wonder:
Do the people upstairs actually understand the hidden costs of what they’re optimizing for?

 

Cutting headcount shows up immediately on the expense line. What doesn’t show up? Safety. Quality control. Risk management. Morale. Productivity.
 
Just because more work gets assigned doesn’t mean more work gets done — and definitely not at the same quality or without real human cost.
 
So what’s my point?
As we head into the holiday season, ask yourself what resource, value, or outcome you’re optimizing for — and whether you like your answer.

I’ve definitely optimized to avoid guilt in the past. I’ve gone to parties I didn’t want to attend or bought gifts I couldn’t afford because the discomfort of guilt (and, let’s be honest, the bruised ego underneath it) felt worse than the cost. That’s… not exactly the kind of optimization I’m proud of.
 
So try these questions:
How much of what I’m doing is to protect my ego?
What truly matters to the people I love — and why?
What truly matters to me — and why?

 

The holidays can be so busy, with so many expectations — our own and everyone else’s. If you say you’re optimizing for “time with family,” great. But are you optimizing for time… or for connection… or for fun?

Those are different answers, and they lead to very different choices.

And the same thing applies at work.

If you’re optimizing to get promoted, prove your value, avoid mistakes, or protect your reputation, you can accidentally build a career on stress and resentment. Optimizing around things you don’t control — other people’s opinions, organizational politics, the whims of leadership — is a fast path to frustration.

 

The ego is insatiable. It wants to be right, praised, included, chosen, admired. It never gets full. But you can choose something else; something that fills you up instead of dragging you down. 
 
A Closing Thought
This season — and really, any season — try choosing a value worth optimizing for. Not ego. Not guilt. Not fear.

 

Maybe it’s connection. Maybe it’s clarity. Maybe it’s rest. Maybe it’s integrity.
Whatever it is, pick something that nourishes you, not depletes you.
Because when you know what you’re optimizing for, your decisions get easier, your boundaries get clearer, and your life begins to align with what actually matters.

 

And that might be the most meaningful optimization of all.